A
ppl make mistakes.. i've made 1. but i'm sorry bout it. cos i didnt mean it. sorry i exceeded the limit. but if u think that i really know how hard it was then so be it. but i really didnt know myself. i'm sorry from the bottom of my heart. if you're not accepting it, then i can do nothing but just say sorry cos i cant turn back the time right now. so just dont fool ard with me as u have had said cos u know the price to pay. n i wont fool around anymore cos i wont want to hurt any of u guys.

maybe it's time
to turn back my old self
drawing my own danger circle
cos i realized
not everyone can take it
not everyone is willing to accept it

maybe i will drift to the big ocean from u guys
maybe i will not
cos i cant predict the future
the answer to the problems
is for me to be away
cos by that
i wont be causing hurt to anyone close to me anymore

maybe i shall be like i'm at home
restricting myself to my own room to my own world
not talking to anyone
but myself

the ones i thought would last forever
the ones i prevented to last forever
the ones i tried my best to last forever
the ones i cherished to last forever

lost in the world of my own creating
searching for what's best for everyone
dropping deeper and deeper
meeting obstacles after one another
should i give up on myself
or should i keep on searching myself
is there any kind hearted souls
who are willing to give their hands
in the process of searching selves

i hate myself....

B
if i'm getting this from you.. u're gonna get it back from me. double! cos i'm just returning u what i've taken from u. being scolded for nth. i didnt say anything doesnt mean that u've won and i've lost. i'm just being 随便. but beware there's this time bomb inside me which i do not know well too. like what others say i dont know my limits. but i guess u dont know ur limit to my limits too. you're those type that i've categorized it as: preventing it to last forever. i'm destructive. dont expect anything from me cos i dont expect anything from u either.

mood: emotional
mode: destructive

whoohoo! i finally saw retard today! =) so happy!!!!!!! miss her so much! very long nv see her alr.. today aft drum meet bf cos i need to shop xmas present! bought all le! still thinking whether wanna buy for a few more ppl! =) sian now like BROKE liao! but mengs n steph still owe me money! so nvm! LOL! n wan yee oso! all thanks to my hair!! i love my hair! whoohoo! aft tat go sch meet the rest to hlp out the matches the guys have! den nv book court so no light! meaning play 1 half only! LOL! den went to eat! laoheng treated us! thank you! whoohoo! free dinner! now sibei budget! haha! tml gg pub!!!! muahaha! n staying out whole night! LOL!

I MISS COACHHHHHH!!! SHE'S COMING BACKKKK=)))

whoohoo~ just came home from angel's house~ hahaha! went there to play mahjong for fun n do someone's present! haha! omg it's damn funny n ugly lahhh! n it's tiring! LOL! it's a secret! =)

ytd just finish chalet! so much fun! had buffet for the first night n bbq for the 2nd night! muahaha~ first night had team talk.. it took us like 4hours lah! damn long! play 21pts with gl n some ppl while some play mahjong! lol! i lose bout 6bucks to gl lah! hmphs! but nvmmmmm.. LOL! went back to sch for PPP in the mrng! it start at 9 lah! den i tot 8! i damn early wake up lor! i only slept for like 1 hr?! damn tiring! went back aft PPP! hahaha slping time!!!!!!!!!!! slp until they prepare for bbq. den heard someone say nobody hlping so i went to hlp gaolao, ann n coach!! we start FIREEEEEE!!!! hahaha! all like dunno how to start so i n shi mu start! i always start fire one! lol! den we do bbq~ always the same few ppl doing bbq~ =.- just like last yr. but nvmmmm.. it's okay de! haha! den jin hui kai lin gf jia qian n aunty came! whoohoo~ so long nv see them alr! so happy lah! LOL! den we talk talk play play watch tvtv den buay tahan my smell n go to bathhhhhhhh.. den we slack slack. they play murderer. haha! they funny lah. but i nv play.. too tired. i slp slp! LOL! n n n it's time to xchange our presents!!!!!!!!!!! haha! i love her vibration frog that hot li bought for me! whoohoo! thanks hot li! aft that mahjong time!!! me jie ying joyce n meow meow~ i won alot at first.. but aft that lose lose. but still in the end won 8 bucks~ hahaha! ate breakfast n went to slp! slept like 3 hrs n it's time to CHECK OUT! this yr chalet like very fast over lor! dunno why also! hahaha! den me n ah wei si acc hui qi to changi there take pictures! LOL..
NP gt match with jurong! won by 5pts! nice job done guys~ went to ah wei si's hs play mahjong! damn lucky... keep winning~ ALOT some more! i think got bout 15bucks bahhh.. but aft that when poon n cute girl came i lost bout 2bucks. haha! cute girl n poon BIG winner lah! hui qi lose cos she gt the unlucky place when ah wei si was there b4. not sure hw much she lost. but ah wei si lose ALOT! 49bucks! oh myyyyyy.. went hm aft that.. damn tired. fell asleep in the bus! 985 from tpy is fast man! hahaha! i'm soooo looking forward to another chalet!!!!!!! YAY! i love chalet!!!!!!!! =)
6th day w/o retard~ =( kinda boredd without her! haha! but she coming back in 2 days time!!! whoohoo! i miss her! =)

hmm.. today is a great day full of emotions=) but overall.. it's a day i've been looking forward to n hope that it will continue cos i think i played quite well today.. 10pts in bout 10 mins!! so nan de.. it seems like it has been a long long time since i played well. since sec 4, since loser rd.. i really hope this will continue for the rest of the matches bah! =)) today aft match went to find de xmas present but cant find. den me n ann go coach's hs have dinner! =) den we watch xing guang da dao 4.. omg got kelly lah! but i think she's better lor! nvm lose jiu lose. she alr gt her album~ hahaha! if Stefanie Sun the contestants cfm lose one lah! =xx aft that jiu go hm watc show until now~~ hahaha!

2nd day without retard! lol! no ppl for me to make fun! =(
the game is for u retard! =)

lalala just gt hm not long ago! lol! cousin gim lay, shu pan n maria(cousin gim lay's wife) came~~ ahhaha! damn happy man! i love it when my cousins come! alot of fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we went to bugis n to the museum n to rochor road eat chicken rice n tao huay~ weets nice nice wor! best in singapore lah! LOL! i didnt go for match today!!!!!! =( i miss coach n everybody~ hahaha! but they won! so happy for them!!!!! JIA YOU STACKERS!!!!!!!! whoohoo!!!

retard is gg off to TAIWANNNNNN in like ard 9 hrs~? oh god.. i'm so envious of her mannnnnnnnnnn!!!!! i wanna go taiwan tooooooo! i miss the food there, the people(handsome dudes n pretty babes)!!!!!!!!! i wanna eat chou dou fu n drink pearl milk tea everydayyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahaha!
MOST IMPORTANTLY.. I'M GG TO MISS RETARD!!!!! =))) must enjoy ur trip there k! n rmb to miss us! LOL!

wooo~~ sorry didnt update much these 2 days! ytd had photography test. was kinda bullshit! i anyhow write one! LOL! had OT for art class~ yay! my painting is finally finishing soon!! muahaha~ n mr lee praise me=) omg omg~ today had MTSY common test! damn that mr vinnie chan! like kena cheated by him lor! what he told us will come one only 20-30% lahhh! stupid! make me study so much! den i didnt study the Elearning one den the test came out! WTHHHH.. stupid sia. hmm but alright for the test. shld be able to pass=))))) yay! tml is VT! the killer man!!!!! so many stuffs n tutorial questions to study! aiyoyo! pray hard that tml paper is not that difficult cos i wasn't really listening in class! jia you shen li!!!!!!

just gt hm n finished bathing~ haha! weather damn cold lah! like almost raining the whole day. went to study at mengs place! haha! weis went off first cos she got family dinner! den at night went to send mengs bro back to camp! den someone met with an accident. mengs dad went to hlp! he damn ke lian lah! curse tat 2 bangla hit n run sia! lucky de person not injured lor!!!!!!! stupid bangla! come here not to hlp only. create trouble oso! such a nuisance! luckily we heng ah! cos de accident jus in front of us only! luckily we were slower... or else we sure kena one! henggggg ahhhh! LOL! but my cough like getting worse! gaaaa

my dad damn irritating lah! keep ask me go see doc when i dont want! he keep repeating! damn him! still scold me bu de hao si! ya la ya l, i will cough to death n make him happy! fcker!

I HAD A BAD DAY:((((((((

too lazy to blog bout today.. hmm, we won quan feng 82-55=) but i didnt play. cough too badly alr!!!! omg i'm coughing like there's no tml now lah! omg i hate it! very xin ku! have a bit of flu too. wonder how i play tml. tml i'm passing the flash to zijing. lol! need to wake up early=( meeting 8am at marsling mrt! argh.. my precious slping time! i will try to play well if i get the chance tml! hope that my both knees wont give up on me! =)

u're the cause of my mood

went to sch early to practice tml lab test. went to lunch with dum dum sheryl n retard. me n dum dum rush off to lesson, end up wei wei they all hvn go up yet. rush for nth=.- lol! end lesson at 5pm.. went to find tina at the lib. she's doing some measuring stuffs for the project. den retard came to find us. we went to eat at the market n off we go to beauty world mac to study. me n retard not studying cos we nothing to study. my notes not with me. retard went off early to go find her bf. then me mei ning n tina went to play pool. homed aft that. tml having lab test. haisss.. die alr lahhh! aiyoyo

is it true that we started to drift apart?! whose fault is it? urs or mine or neither of us! u started not _____ me! argh.. i hate it man!!!!! i tried to hard to maintain this, it's kinda tiring but i dont mind. what bout u? do u still cherish our f/s?

whee~ i just gt hm not long ago! hmm even though we lost the match today, but all of us felt that it was a good game! even gaolao says so! haha! nice one ppl! =) didnt know that shi mei was in auto focus! omg lah, she's damn fast! still as pro as ever! haha! aft that acc shi min to return tina her shoe! thanks TINA! love u man! life saviour! =)aft match went to eat with cute girl, ann, ah wei si n ah min! haha! 3 of them left first, left me n ann. we talked alot lahhh! haha! n is mostly bad things bout other ppl! omg damn sinful! but we're saying the truth lah=xx excuses! haha! n home swt home~ i still haven ask mama for the ans bout the KL trip! =x

hmm ytd i skipped art lesson just to have dinner with coach n ann! haha! we ate zhi char! omg lah, damn full aft eating! then we go coach's house! i ji tao lao sai lahhh! stuck in the toilet very long. my stomach isn't very gd recently! haha! watched twilight! msia out alr! we watched fan ban one so the quality is BAD! i will go watch it agn. ann say it's not nice cos the book is ALOT nicer! but i lazy go read the book! haha! played monopoly with ann aft that cos she keep wanting to play. lol. she won agn! bo liao! haha! den we went hm. while coach went bowling with sze yee n her cousins!

anyway i recently like this old song by dong li huo che called: 也许有一天!!! i think it's very nice n have meaningful lyrics=) i bet most of u will hear it before=))

well well.. it's a contradicting day for me.. both gd n bad things happen. lets talk bout gd things first. i finally could cut my hair! whee hee! n it's damn damn short. i'm kinda not used to it alr cos i didnt cut my hair for 9mths!!!! but the guy who cut it for me quite handsome! hahaha! hee! i'm so lucky! lol! i manage to finish all my hwk due tml with a very gd mood. cos normally i will be very lazy to do soldering and submitting photos for photography lessons.. haha! so many things done in one day! nice one. had trng today. quite fun even though there's only 6 of us! haha! thanks to my eh dum for the nice nice choc!! love u man! n i got a new shirt from sch today! haha! i kinda like it cos gt red n it's dry fit! i dont have many dry fit shirt so i'm happy to get 1 for FREE! oh my, i sound so aunty=x n n n i got a FREE & COMFORTABLE RIDE hm! thanks to walter the butcher who stays the opp block of mine! haha! n they all return me money! so i'm rich now! haha had so much fun with my np team mates today! =)

now the bad thing.. i some how kinda injured my RIGHT knee! so horrible! the back of my knee HURTS! with the front too. cos my knee cap losennn.. oh my oh my. i need to rest soon! but how, i'm having so many bball competition still gg on! walter asked me to go see sinseh but i'm scared n i dont wanna go alone! hais.. n i lost retard's watch today! i'm so sorry!!!! i think it accidentally dropped of my bag while i was taking my stuffs out! =( i'm gonna get a new n better one for her!!!! plus when i was gg to upload photos today for tml's lesson, i found out that i lost the USB cable for the camera too! hais.. so careless. must be the bag agn! i keep putting stuffs at those compartments that will make the things drop easily! next time i shall put inside some zip! hope can replace the USB cable with the nokia USB cable! haha! or else i need to go buy a new one! so ma fan..

i miss gg out with coach!!!! =(

whoo~ i'm at hm now! gg out soon. waiting for my precious hair to dry. COS I'M GG TO CUT MY HAIR LATER!!!! hahaha! weets like so long!!! 9mths lehh! AISEHHHH! so proud of myself! now play ball no need to use those ugly clips alr! muahahaha! i cant wait mannnn! hope that person follow my instructions clearly! =xx! having trng ltr. they nt gg to hv dinner tgt aft that=( maybe i'll eat b4 trng! den i can jian fei! i've been eating alot recently! haha! big appetite is back!!!! oh goshhhh.. i just now finish ard 90% of my avmp proj! soldering~ this time rd like easier! maybe that time do until i very pro alr! hahaha!

retard cheer up!!! u can do better! i believe u! =)) jia you!